9 Secrets Your Pastor’s Wife Wished You Knew

9 Secrets Your Pastor’s Wife Wished You Knew When pastor’s wives were asked what they would love to tell their congregation if given the chance to do so, they had these to say Who says pastor’s wives are not super women? Christian blogger, Christina Stolaas who writes for Shattered Magazine, the women behind the pastors are often taken for granted and sometimes made fun of, forgetting that without them our spiritual leaders might not be able to survive the chaos. The blogger made a research in which she asked some of the pastor’s wives what they would love to tell their congregation if given the chance to do so. Although she interviewed wives of pastors with thriving churches to wives whose husband’s churches are barely surviving, they all gave similar answers. They wish people knew how hard it is to have family time: According to Stolaas, every one of these first ladies told her that their husbands rarely have time for their family. She added that they all agreed that church matters have taken precedence over family matters, such as vacations and simple family time, on many occasions. Almost every day they are afraid of screwing it all up: Contrary to popular belief, pastor’s wives struggle with the same issues most women face, such as sickness within the family, financial obligations, disobedient children and marriage problems. Being a pastor’s wife is THE loneliest thing they have ever done and for so many reasons: It’s not that these women don’t desire the company of others, but they always seem to be on display, so rarely find someone with whom they can share their thoughts. It is okay and welcomed to have conversations with them about things that do not pertain to church, or even Jesus: Although pastor’s wives usually support their husbands in his ministry, they desire to be approached just as they are and not a spiritual problem solver. Stolaas adds that most of them have hobbies or other interests that they are dying to share with others. Sundays are sometimes their least favourite day: Because they have to be ready to put themselves and their family on display for the rest of the day, Sunday mornings are extremely stressful for pastor’s wives, as is the rest of the day. Most of them are glad when the day is over without too many disasters. It is quite hard to not harbour resentment or to not to lash out at members who openly criticize their husband’s ministry: Although her husband may not always be correct in what he says or does, it’s hard for a pastor’s wife not to hold a grudge against anyone who is deliberately trying to bring him down. Members should also remember that pastor’s children are not perfect and make their own decisions just like other children, no matter what they have been taught. They wish you won’t look down on them or assume they do not support their husbands because you don’t see them before church starts: Most wives are not paid staff. They are wives, mothers, and some are employed outside the home and need to be allowed the freedom to pray and choose ministries they feel called to. They wish people knew they teach their children to make good choices, but sometimes they don’t: Stolaas wrote, “Jokes about pastor’s kids should be avoided at all costs. The risk of rebellion in a “preacher’s kid” is no secret. They aren’t perfect, and never will be (are yours?). They have to learn to walk in their faith just like other children and need encouragement and love to do so. Again, extend grace.” They can agree they have been blessed beyond measure, both physically and spiritually: They love their church and understand the role comes with special challenges and special blessings; it is fulfilling and brings them great joy.